Quilt #7 Anonymous

Quilt #7 has an interesting story. I have had a number of wonderful friends offer to make quilts.  I got a call from a dear one this morning saying her quilt was ready to go and asked about how to add it to the project. We talked  awhile and composed a letter to go along with the quilt explaining the project and about the photos from the post. She also talked to me about using minky in her quilts. She left me anxious to try making one.

A few hours later, she called back.  She felt prompted that this quilt should go to the intended recipient without being technically part of the project.  My friend really wanted to be a part of honoring Duncan. She was sure I would be disappointed. However, it is quite the opposite. So much of what I am coming to understand is the beauty of truly relying on the Spirit.  To actively use our "faith muscle" and trust the information. I love her for teaching me. I have had a similar experience. I have a list of recipients for the next few quilts. I wrote down one name and immediately understood that the timing was wrong. If we would be instruments in His hands, it makes more sense to me to try to quiet my will for His.

The other bonus is that I am one step closer to 100 and this wonderful friend has already identified another quilt for the project.

Update on Quilt #4 Shirley Sawyer

Shirley Sawyer, the recipient of Quilt #4 passed away last week. She was a remarkable giving woman.  It would be interesting to try to calculate all the items she created and donated. She was still working on baby hats until the last. I talked to her daughter a couple days ago and she told me that her mother instructed her to find someone else going through a difficult time and re-gift Quilt #4. Mary went to retrieve the quilt from her parents home.  She explained to her father what her mother wanted. He understood but said it was fine but "just not yet." I was so grateful to have such a rich gospel discussion with Shirley the week before she passed and just as happy that her husband is finding some comfort have the quilt in their home for awhile longer.

Duncan's Mother

Alisa Beach is Duncan's mother.  She commented on Quilt #6. I wanted to repost her comment because I love what she says about bearing each other's burdens. Below is her comment:

I love how the recipients are being found so quickly. As soon as you have a quilt a person in need is presented. It is a beautiful testament to me of how the Lord consecrates our offerings. If we open our mouths he will give us words, when we show a willingness to serve he provides a brother or sister who is in need of service. I love you all, the way you are serving each other, as well as the way you are sharing your struggles. How different would all of our stories be if we kept them to ourselves. If we allowed Satan to convince us not to "burden" one another or tell us we should be strong enough to handle it on our own. There is so much power in lifting each other and also allowing ourselves to be lifted. In the process we all just continue to rise. on Quilt #6 Becca Wilkinson

Quilt #6 Becca Wilkinson

Quilt #6 was presented to Becca Wilkinson on July 26, 2016.  Becca's mother Tara and I worked together for a number of years and shared stories about our children. We both had girls playing basketball and rarely a week went by that one or the other didn't have a sprain, break or injury.  We seemed to pass the baton back and forth.

She is so beautiful.

This process of selecting quilt recipients has become quite  miraculous in it's own right. At a certain point, I will stop being surprised when the Spirit speaks. I started the quilt with no one in particular in mind.  I saw Becca's photo on Facebook and it was made clear immediately that it was HER quilt. Learning to trust this process and the promptings of the Holy Ghost, is the same required in the rest of my life. Learning to listen and accept.  All is well. View from the eternal perspective.  Doubt not, fear not.

Tara shared that Becca was without words upon receiving this gift from The Duncan Project.  I truly hope this provides a smile and comfort for this courageous young woman.

Tara wrote a little about Becca's journey.

Several years ago, after a series of significant injuries, Becca's health took a significant downtown.  It took many years of doctors and tests to finally discover that she has POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). 

This illness of the central nervous system causes many of her body's functions to work improperly.   In particular, her heart doesn't pump out enough blood to make normal body functions work as they should.  

Ready to send

Becca has significant circulation issues that cause tremendous pain in her lower legs and right arm.  She wears compression stockings and is unable to walk or use that arm without being in significant pain.  She can only stand for very brief periods of time.   It effects her breathing.  She struggles to get enough air and gets light-headed when she stands.  She usually needs assistance in walking for both pain and trying-not-to-pass-out reasons.  

In addition, she has horrible pain in her stomach and digestion issues that we have yet to be able to figure out completely. 

The past few years of working her way through high school with such poor health and being unable to participate in most of the typical teenage activities was incredibly difficult.  But as a recent graduate, Becca works hard to remain optimistic about her future, and we greatly appreciate The Duncan Project and its example of healing and helping others as a means of finding healing and comfort ourselves. 

Those feet belong to Brother Tate.  I thought it was fitting
 since he has become a part of this.  He support this project both
emotionally and financially and has even squared up quilt blocks. 

Quilt #5 Angie Barrett

Angie Barrett on left with Lori Bunnell on right.

Quilt creator Mary Duke

Quilt Embroidery Detail

Quilt #5 was presented by Lori Bunnell to Angie Barrett on July 13, 2016. This is where my project takes a most loving turn.  I have invited close friends and family to participate with me in creating quilts and identifying recipients.  Quilt #5 was created by Mary Duke (whose mother Shirley Sawyer received Quilt #4) and given to Angie Barrett by my dear friend and Utah next door neighbor, Lori Bunnell.  My role in this gift is simply as an intermediary. I sent this note along with the quilt to tell her about Duncan (I wish I could be there every time a quilt is given). What moves me so powerfully is how connected we all are.
Both Mary and Lori have comforted me and participated in bringing comfort to Angie, all because of Duncan. For me, this is what the Savior means when he asks us to bear each other's burdens.  This is what is possible when we choose to serve others in the midst of our own difficulties. We are all touched by love.

  

The recipient of this quilt, Angie Barrett, is an amazing young woman and Lori Bunnell's niece. The mother of four boys, she has gone through a medical trial lasting over 4.5 years (to date) and recently had her leg amputated as a result.  Below is her story from a crowd funding site set up by her family. They tell her story more eloquently that I could hope to.
Lori shared with me that Angie was overwhelmed by the love and happy to be a part of this awesome project. Lori thanked me for letting her be a part a well. I feel surrounded by such loving women and so grateful.

The Story

Those of us who know Angie, know that she has always been an AMAZING person who radiates happiness where ever she goes. She is a devoted wife, awesome mother, and a friend to everyone! She always strives to be positive, even when faced with adversity. On June 23, 2016 Angie will have to have her leg amputated. This is her story...

On January 7, 2012, Angie broke her leg and blew her knee out in a terrible skiing accident.

Her doctor at the time had her wear a leg brace for six months which didn’t fix the problem. He then did a series of three surgeries. The first surgery was her ACL, second was her MCL, and third was a total knee replacement. After almost two years of continual pain and problems, a second manipulation (breaking up scar tissue) was performed. Unfortunately during this process her femur was broken. At this point Angie changed doctors.

The new doctor was baffled at how all of this had happened. He immobilized her leg explaining that in order to fix her knee it would take at least one year of allowing the bones to heal and get strong enough to redo her total knee. Patiently she waited through the year of 2014. Over two years of dealing with what should have been a fairly simple fix, her leg had turned into a nightmare.

In 2015 Angie’s new doctor referred her to a doctor who specializes in her situation. This doctor quickly discovered her knee was badly infected. This explained all of the problems.

To make a 4 ½ year long story short…. Angie has had 13 surgeries on her leg so far. Many of which have been extremely painful and include having her femur and tibia reamed ( drilled out and packed with antibiotics). She has been on five IV’s a day and is ill from so much medication. In-home health care has done weekly blood tests to monitor her infection levels and sed-rate.

We believe Angie’s medical team has worked very hard and vigorously to try and save her leg and she is very grateful for their efforts. We are sad to report that Angie is scheduled for an amputation above the knee the end of June 2016.

Angie continues to endure this trial with courage and grace. Her positive attitude continues to inspire many. Please join us in supporting her with prayers, messages of encouragement, and if you feel inclined a monetary donation to help with her many medical bills.

Angie says..." Smile, even if life isn't as you planned it!" What a great example she is of patience and strength. Thank you to all who have and continue to show love and concern. Many acts of service have been shown to her and to her family. Angie refers to these wonderful people as her “Angels on Earth”.

We love you Ang! You've got this!

Here is the funding link:  https://www.youcaring.com/angie-barnett-458488#.V4E31mJuqgU.facebook

Quilt #4 Shirley Sawyer

Quilt #4 was presented to Shirley Sawyer on Sunday, July 10th, 2016.  Shirley is the cherished mother of my friend Mary Duke. Shirley has been struggling for some time with a fluid build up on her lungs that makes it very difficult to breath. She had quite a bit of fluid removed while in the hospital but it seems to be continuing to build up again.  Shirley has decided to go home and begin receiving hospice care until her life is finished.  She is only 77.  The evening I took the quilt, Mary and I visited for over an hour with Shirley and her dear friend Aunt Pat. These best friends (Shirley and Pat) were so fun together, it felt a bit like an episode of I Love Lucy. During our visit, we shared with her the story of Duncan's life and passing and how we hoped to honor him. Shirley has a great faith and she knows the Savior. Shirley talked about what great kids she raised and indicated that she wasn't always the greatest mother. First of all, I don't believe it, based on how she is adored and revered by her children and second it just reminded me of how most of us feel.  We love our children so dearly but we are just not perfect. Shirley had 5 children in 2.5 years.  One baby, then twins 11 months later, then another set of twins the next year. She lost a son in a gun accident in his teens.  I think she could fully appreciate what Duncan's family feels.
This was the first time I had met Shirley in person but have had a connection for a couple of years.  Shirley crochets the most beautiful afghans. She has often donated them to raffle off at charity events. I tried the first time with 5 tickets and didn't win. The next time I heard she donated one for auction, I was determined.  I bought 20 tickets.  Only 26 were sold and guess what, I still didn't win.  That is when this beautiful lady understanding that I loved her work, decided to make one for me.  I even got to choose the color. I cherish this so much. Now we are almost even.
As we were leaving, Shirley gave me a big hug and said she hadn't been so touched in a long time.  I truly hope this little quilt provides comfort during whatever time she remains here with her loved ones.
Once again, I came away feeling so grateful for this beautiful, brave woman.

P.S. Also want to thank Barbara Holt for her help on this one. She is so talented and when I made a cut the wrong direction, she just said it will all work out.

UPDATE:
Beautiful Shirley Sawyer passed away a week after this quilt was presented on July 17, 2016. My daughter Mary said the 15 minutes before Shirley passed she felt the most beautiful peace in the room.  I am forever grateful that I was able to spend time with her the week before.  She was truly an example of love of service.

Quilt #3 Joan Smith

This quilt was presented to Joan Smith on July 7th, 2016.  Joan's husband, Darrell, had passed away earlier in the week due to complications brought on from a long battle with Alzheimers. When I started making the quilt, Doug asked me who it was for and I truly didn't know. I traveled to Salt Lake City to help care for my granddaughter when I got word her husband had passed. This quilt was tailor made for her.  She loves beautiful traditional things.  We talked for two hours about Duncan and Darrell and our testimonies of life after death and accepting God's will. She said she felt peaceful as the Lord gave her 4 months to get used to the idea of Darrell being gone as he left a little every day. I felt the Spirit many times during our conversation. She placed the quilt on her lap and seemed to be be almost wrapped in comfort.  Joan has been a wonderful friend and neighbor in Utah for 15 years. She is a very talented musician that always pushed our little ward to choir to try pieces not for the faint of heart.  She brought out the best in all of us.  She introduced me to the Pallisers and a good many other British series.  Always generous and loving, she let me tell my stories and always took my side.  She called me her 7th daughter. I came away feeling loved and lighter.

Quilt #2 Amy Fernelious

My beautiful friend Amy in Germany

I think Tommy understands that quilts are for comfort

Amy's four wonderful children, Olivia, Tennyson, Henry and Tommy. 

This quilt is called Six of One, Half Dozen of Another

This quilt was presented to Amy Fernelious on June 18th, 2016 as she prepared to leave Hawaii on their way to the next duty station in Germany. This family has meant to much to our family these past three years.  We have served together, shared meals, a few games and many sweet conversations.  Towards the end Amy mentioned that she hoped I wouldn't be offended but that I "was like a second mother to her." I am constantly trying to pass as someone younger than I am but in this instance I will gladly own up and say that had I had a teen pregnancy she could be my daughter. And I would be so honored to have a daughter like her. Always kind and giving. She has shared her wonderful family with me and I have learned so much from her.  We have plans to meet again at the dedication of the Rome, Italy temple. Because I knew her, I have been changed for good.

Quilt #1: Charlene Duncan/Alisa Beach

Charlene at her beautiful new home in Missouri

The first quilt in  The Duncan Project was given to Charlene Duncan, grandmother to Duncan Beach on June 9th , 2016.  This amazing family has taught me so much about dignity, love and grace in the face of  trials.  The Duncan/Beach/Stark family came to Hawaii the same month we did three years ago. I remember fondly standing on a sidewalk with Charlene, Alisa and Karen after a RS get together.  We talked for over an hour and at the time Duncan was a newborn in a carrier . I don't recall Alisa ever sitting the carrier down.. It took awhile for me to understand how they were related.  An unusual thing to see four generations living in harmony in one home but they do.  From the beginning I watched the way this family lives the gospel.  It is rare to witness a meal or visit to their home that does not include their large family and various others who need a meal, place to stay or just want to hang out in a home filled with love and laughter.

Charlene and I served together in the Stake and had many occasions to be together at various functions, As well, we crocheted and crafted together.  We shared many personal stories and she could probably get me in trouble should she have a mind to.  I feel a deep connection and kinship to this beautiful woman and have always felt drawn to her. I love her commitment to fully living the gospel of Jesus Christ and the amazing way she bears her burdens with a constant care for others.  She and her family moved to Missouri in June but I will forever be connected to her and grateful for her love and wisdom.  Aloha Oe until we meet again.

The Beginning

The Duncan Project was conceived one day shortly after Duncan's passing while I was out walking the dog.  At the time, I was praying and pleading for understanding and acceptance. One of the tender mercies I received was a very clear answer that it was God's will and that "it's okay."  Armed with that knowledge, I looked for a way to process my own grief, while turning my heart to God and honoring Duncan. To learn the lessons Heavenly Father has for us and in response increase my love and support to those in need.

I received this quilt as a gift in 2006 for my birthday.
 Created by my amazing bookclub
 it continues to make me happy even today.

I remember distinctly two separate occasions in my life of great distress where I received a handmade quilt. These were not merely blankets for warmth (which in one instance was very much needed) but works of art.  The best loving hands have to offer and I felt deeply comforted.  I could feel the love in the stitches.

My mind started to contemplate if these quilts could be created as a comfort and a way to show love to those in time of joyful or difficult transition. Would this also be the means of healing for my broken heart? The Spirit whispered yes. I have invited close friends and family to join my in making quilts and identifying recipients. In this blog, I will tell the stories of givers and receivers. So the journey of a 100 quilts begins....