Quilt #48 Abplanalp Family

Abplanalb Family with Amos' quilt at an Evie Clair concert

A few months ago I received an email from Jennifer Kelly. She was a member of Duncan's ward when they lived here in Hawaii. She shared with me that she had been following The Duncan Project and wanted to nominate her Uncle, Amos Abplanalp, who had been diagnosed with colon cancer. This amazing tribute written by her and her sister is from her first email.

Amos in the early stages

My cousin and dear friend, Amos, has always be the life of every party. He is quilt with a witty comment, easy to smile and laugh, and always up for fun. He makes you feel good about being you and encourages everyone to find happiness in their lives. He has 5 amazingly talented children, and is married to an equally amazing woman.

On April 3, 2016, Amos experienced sever abdominal pain. Thinking his gallbladder was the culprit, he went to the ER. He and his family received the unfathomable news that he had Stage 4 colon cancer with metastasis to his liver and peritoneum. Urgent surgery was performed to attempt to remove the tumor. It was unsuccessful and a procedure to allow his intestines to function was performed instead. He began chemotherapy some after. To date, he has survived nearly one year of unsuccessful chemotherapy. He is awaiting further treatment to slow the growth of the tumors in his liver while researching clinical trials in which he may be eligible to participate.

On the way to church with the whole family

Amos has endured unspeakable pain, fatigue and significant lifestyle changes. Through all of his challenges, he has not lost faith. He continues to serve as the Bishop (spiritual leader of his Latter Day Saint flock). He was called to serve just before his diagnosis and after the diagnosis was offered the opportunity to step down as the Bishop. He declined, offering that the Lord knew what was happening in his body when He called him to serve. Amos continues to fulfill his duties to the best of his abilities.

Regardless of the venue, Amos is loved by those he meets. Teaching and coaching wrestling at Gilbert High School, he provided much guidance and acceptance to his students and athletes. They were heartbroken when he completed his degree in Psychology and accepted a job with the corrections system. Though hazardous that job may be, he guides and shares life experiences with the inmates.

Amos' life has been about service. Service to his children and wife by attending as many activities as possible (even if that means a nap on the couch in the foyer) and observing date night as often as possible. Service to his family by working through every symptom he can. Service to his ward family through continued guidance and leadership. Service to friends and family through his example of faith and endurance. 

The future may be darker than he anticipated and it is my hope that he will have just a a little comfort knowing how others see him. They see his fight. They see his fatigue. They see his struggle. They also see his strength. They see his goodness. They see his unwavering dedication to Jesus Christ. The want to share their love and prayers that angels will be round about him.

Amos' favorite color was orange

Unfortunately Amos passed away from cancer on September 7, 2016 while I was working on his quilt. During his illness and eventual passing, his daughter Evie Clair, was a finalist on the show "America's Got Talent."  The way they carried themselves during this difficult time, influenced so many. They testified of their faith in the Plan of Salvation in a very public way and touched many hearts for good.

This sweet family is loved and supported by so many people while they are temporarily separated from this great husband and father. His family, including his nieces, adored him as you can see by their tribute.

I spent some time reading about Amos today at teamamos.com. I was so inspired. His influence lives on.

Love in the stitches.....

Update on Quilt #43 Vicki Wood

A week or so ago, I received a text from Vicki with this photo and message:

This is Vicki Wood, Seth's mom....This is my older son with the blanket and one of our dogs. He and Seth were best friends. We are all still missing him so, but hope anchors our souls and we all wait with great expectations until we see him again.

I so love that phrase, "hope anchors our souls."

Love in the stitches...

Quilt #45 Donna Brown donated by Mary Duke

Beautiful Sisters, Mary and Donna

Quilt number 45 was presented to Donna Brown by Mary Duke. 

Mary writes:

Within an 18 month period Donna has experienced the loss of 5 close family members. Not to mention dear friends who are not mentioned among these 5. She lost her Father in law, then just a few months later she lost her adult daughter Desi, within 5 months she lost her mother. Shortly after that one of the family dogs died, Then just last month her father passed away. That is a lot of grieving for one person to handle in such a short span of time. And if grief isn't enough, there is all the care and dedication to them before their passing. I have wanted to do something special for Donna for a long time. Especially since the death of her daughter. Donna loves the U of U football team and has collected many T shirts over the years. She recently gave some of her old ones to me, her sister. I decided then that she needed a U of U T-shirt quilt . I hope that this quilt will bring some joy back into her life. I hope she takes it to every game and feels the love of so many who ache for her losses.

Coming from a family of rabid Utah fans, I know how this unique quilt will be treasured for years to come. There is sister love, which is really powerful, in the stitches...

#47 Megan Ostler donated by Mary Duke

Quilt #47 was presented to Megan Ostler as a wedding gift by Mary Duke. Marilyn Eyre, Megan's mother, passed away just weeks before Megan's wedding. It was Marilyn's goal to the end to see each of her children married. She was able to be there for her other 3 children's weddings, two of which took place this year. She deeply desired to attend Megan's and was able to meet (and approve) her future son-in-law  Rob Ostler before she left this earth.We are pretty sure she enjoyed the wedding from her current location (Spirit Paradise). Marilyn was such a loving person and always there to provide comfort to others. Mary hopes that when Megan wraps up in the quilt, she will feel her mother's love.

Marilyn at Christmas Bookclub approximately 10 years ago

Our dear friend, Marilyn passed this spring from Multiple System Atrophy, a progressive disease which took her life over a period of years. Even in the years when she could no longer make gifts for our Christmas Bookclub Dinner, from her wheelchair, she would enlist the helps of visitors and volunteers alike to help. She loved to give and did not want to miss out just because her body was cooperating.

It is interesting to note that the binding on Megan's quilt was completed last week at bookclub by various members. I'm sure that would make Marilyn smile.

Here in Hawaii we have a concept called hanai. In Hawaiian culture it refers to the loving, informal adoption of one person by another, regardless of age. Megan (and all Marilyn's children) are hanai children to our bookclub and especially Mary Duke.

There is sweetly, maternal love in the stitches for Marilyn's Megan.

All of us together to celebrate Marilyn's journey

Quilt #46 Sue Calvaresi donated by Rada Morton

Quilt #46 was given to Sue Calvaresi. Sue is the sister of a dear friend here in Hawaii. A year ago, Sue and her family experienced a devastating fire that burned not only their home but all their possessions and vehicles. A truck ran into their home and while trying to back out, the sparks ignited the the vehicle exploded in their home. The fire spread to their RV and vehicles. She and her husband and their pet narrowly escaped with their lives. My friend, Kristal shared this with me last summer and Sue's name was added to my list of possible quilt recipients. My Aunt Rada had volunteered to make a quilt at Christmas and I gave her some fabric to get started at that time on a quilt for Sue.

Sue's home after the fire

It took months to resettle in housing on their land in Arizona. Just as things were returning to a state of normalcy, Sue was diagnosed with liver cancer. She is currently on chemo trying to shrink the tumors as she waits for a liver transplant.

Kristal with Sue's quilt

It took a bit of time to get Sue's quilt done. When my mom delivered it to me on a recent visit to Utah, I was shocked to learn that it was hand pieced and hand quilted. I am so grateful to my sweet Aunt Rada for the many hours she put into this beautiful work of art. This quilt will likely be the last one that my aunt does all by hand. It is truly unique. It is fascinating to me to see this on Sue's bed. It looks like it was tailor made. It reminds me how the Lord works, all things in his timing and it is clear this quilt was meant for Sue.

Sue and I at breakfast

Sue came this week to visit Kristal here in Hawaii and we got to share a meal. I was absolutely blown away by her ability to stay positive in the midst of these hard things. I hope she doesn't mind me sharing this but she told me that she would like to make a wooden sign with the following saying:

"I know that when God shuts one door, he opens another but sometimes the hallway is hell"

I'm sure these signs would sell like crazy. Thank you Sue for teaching me more about grace.  There is love in these hand sewn stitches for Sue as she continues to walk the hallway.

Sue wrapped in her quilt

Quilt #43 Vicki Wood

Quilt #43 was presented to a sweet woman who lost her 16 year old son to cancer. Their family loved the outdoors and this quilt pattern designer shared that she was inspired by Ralph Waldo Emerson's admonishment to "live in the sunshine."

This project has taught me some about grief. It just won't be rushed. Some of the recipients of these quilts aren't in a space to share photos when given. We all deserve space as the sacred process occurs.

Today we received word that another grandmother in our family passed last night. Two in two weeks. I have a new understanding of what it means to "mourn with those who mourn."

I found this poem recently and it seems the right space to share it.

I had my own notion of grief.

I thought it was the sad time

That followed the death of

Someone you love.

And you had to push through it

To get to the other side.

There is no pushing through.

But rather,

There is absorption.

Adjustment.

Acceptance

And grief is not something you complete,

But rather, you endure.

Grief is not a task to finish

And move on,

But an element of yourself-

An alteration of your being.

A new way of seeing

A new definition of self.

I hope this quilt provides some small measure of comfort to a grieving parent. Love in the stitches...

Quilt #44 Karen Yorgason and Baby Bennett donated by Kelly Jones

Mary Duke (helped me deliver the quilt), Mom Karen Yorgason, Grandma Joan Schneiter and little sister

Quilt #44 was presented to Karen Yorgason for her newborn son Bennett. We are almost at the halfway point in The Duncan Project and one thing I have enjoyed are the tender mercies and miracles in the background. 

The entire Yorgason clan. The little
siblings can only visit 15 minutes
twice a week.

After learning about Baby Bennett's auspicious entry into this world, I knew I wanted him to be a part of The Duncan Project. I was in the middle of finishing one quilt and had another that I needed to complete urgently. I texted Kelly Jones, one of my favorite quilters, to see if she knew of a very simple baby quilt pattern that I could complete quickly so as to return to the other projects in my queue.

Kelly shared with me that she had recently completed a baby boy quilt with no intended receiver that she would like to donate. What makes this even more meaningful is that both the giver and receiver have sons with special needs. 

Bennett's grandmother, Joan Schneiter wrote about her beautiful grandson:

Bennett James Yorgason

While on a family vacation in Hawaii, Karen received a call from her doctor. The doctor told her she would be having a boy and asked Karen if she and her husband could come in later in the day to discuss some other findings. Karen told her doctor she was on vacation and would like to know what was going on. The doctor told Karen that her little boy had a 99% chance of having Down syndrome, which was found through a DNA screening test.  Karen says that both she and James felt at peace about the baby and his diagnosis. She was a little over three months along at this point.

Karen and James have three other children. She is 29 years old. 

As the months went by she went to a specialist and had many ultra sounds. Everything indicated that although this little guy had an extra chromosome, he was healthy, and Karen's regular doctor was planning on delivering him. Then the baby flipped and was breach! Her regular doctor still planned to deliver him, but decided to schedule a C-section on July 21st, two weeks before his due date.

On July 17th Karen went in for her weekly ultra sound and the technician said, "Oh Karen, I'm sorry. I need to get the doctor." The doctor rushed in and said the baby had fluid surrounding his lungs and so she needed to go immediately to the University of Utah for an emergency C-section because of their NICU-Newborn Intensive Care Unit, and he needed to be close to Primary Children's Hospital.

That evening little Bennett made his entrance into the world and was briskly passed through the "window" to the NICU. He has been there for nearly three weeks at this posting. He has a rare and serious condition called Chylothorax. It is not associated with Down syndrome. His lymphatic system produces fluid in his chest and it pushes on the lungs and heart. It is difficult to treat but Bennett has responded extremely well to medication. Because of the chest tube draining the fluid, his parent's cannot hold him.

Dad and Mom.  One of the few times
they were able to hold him before the
chest tube.

His little brothers and sister started calling him PUPPY while he was in the womb. He is super PUPular! We send out PUPdates to the family. The window in his NICU even has a huge #teampup! The name Bennett means blessed little one, and he is blessing all of our lives. His parents are also teaching us to be strong! This morning on the PUPdate Aunt Jenny wrote, "Even though Bennett is going through all this hard stuff, he always has a peaceful/content look on his face. We have a lot to learn from this kid. #belikebennett."

Bennett has a team of angels here on here and above, praying for his comfort and well being. I love this opportunity to recognize miracles and see testimonies strengthened. His is truly a blessing to his family. As well, I am grateful for those who bless my life as The Duncan Project progresses.

Love in the stitches for PUPPY Yorgason...

The quilt is backed in minke. Perfect for this family.